Things I'm Afraid of

 

Published February 8th, 2016

by Ezzie Brown

 

Ezzie Brown

02-07-16

500 Word Essay

AP Language and Composition

“Things I’m afraid of”

 

 

Chafing.

Thanks ‘rents for the skinny genes

-- so I can wear skinny jeans --

but I know they won’t last forever.

I’ve seen what happens.

I’ve seen my future.

And I fear it,

this fear I’ve been trained into

and though it pains me to admit it--

I am a product of my species.

 

I just fear that discomfort.

I don’t complain much,

but I fear wanting to.

 

This city.

Cause it’s new,

but I’m not.

I’m sixteen years old

and already

that’s sixteen years away

from being born again.

 

Valentine’s Day.

Well,

Aren’t I supposed to?

 

My Dad’s birthday.

It’s a big one -- his leap year day,

finally.

What must that feel like?

To be born on a day

that even the calender forgets most of the time.

no wonder he’s crisising mid-life.

 

500 words.

That’s a lot to give.

With only a letter to get.

And not even one of the interesting ones

in an envelope and stamp.

I wonder whatever happened to my penpal in India from third grade.

I hope she’s well.

But what if she’s burning?

 

Global warming.

I’ve heard this city is miserable in winter.

And just because I’m miserable,

doesn’t mean the weather’s been.

Hail pockmarks

and mush sheets

but nothing huge, nothing normal.

What will I do if I’m still alive to see it all go down

in fifty years?

In fifteen?

 

Addiction.

Cause it seems to be a problem for some folks.

Cigarettes for the young

Devices for the children

Marriage for the middle-aged

Death for the old

Death for all

Life for all.

 

It’s that discomfort thing again.

 

Today,

because I’ll have to do my math after this

SOHCAHTOA, specifically--

 

Yesterday,

because I didn’t dream again

and that’s worse than dreaming--

 

Tomorrow.

I mean, if it’s going to be like today…

what’s not to fear?

 

Everyone else.

Because I’m scared

that all these words

-- precious and mine --

yet everyone else’s,

have already written

have already been done

which would mean--

I’ve already been done.